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!!NEWS!!: Dead or Alive? Write jozy.news@gmail.com to voice your opinions!
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This is the number
one site to read !!NEWS!!, or find any Americas News Revised related things. Surprisingly, it is also the only site to read
!!NEWS!!, or find anything about Americas News Revised. We call it Americas News Revised, because thats what it is.
!!NEWS!!
is a politically humorous short article of sorts, that can be read here on the "Recent !!NEWS!!" page, or can be sent to via
e-mail. !!NEWS!! is the newsletter, in/made by Americas News Revised. You can sign up to receive the weekly e-mail at the
bottom of this page. Americas News Revised has a strict policy we stand by, and shall not spam your e-mail, or give any information
about you away. If you do not wish to receive the e-mail, you can always check back at this website whenever you want, to
read a !!NEWS!! or any Breaking !!NEWS!!. Breaking !!NEWS!! is not e-mailed to anyone (at this current time... however we
do accept bribes...)
Any !!NEWS!! is for entertainment and humorous purposes only. !!NEWS!!'s are not to be
used as a source of accurate information, or to be taken offensively, or seriously. At all.
Please read !!NEWS!! at your
own risk. It may be harmful to your brain, if you tend to soak up information. (But since you're reading this we'll assume
you don't.)
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Terms and Conditions:
The site http://americasnewsrevised.tripod.com and any or all affiliates, including those related to, mentioned in, endorsed
by, owned by or cojoined, holds all rights to any and all materials on this site. All links on http://americasnewsrevised.tripod.com
(hereon known as "the website") are property of those links and are not to be misused or abused in any way by the site or
any affiliates, or outside parties. Any information contained on the website is property of the website only, and none other
affiliates. All writings in "!!NEWS!!" and the concept thereof is strict property of the website and cannot and will not be
subjected to use by any other parties without written permission and signed rights. The concept and publication of "!!NEWS!!"
is strictly of the website's and cannot be used, taken, copied or plagurized from the website. The website holds all rights
to all publications upon itself, including "!!NEWS!!" and any other publication upon the website.
Any links, mentions, or uses of other websites or publications on issues of "!!NEWS!!" or anywhere else upon the website does
not grant affiliation with the website. Any links or so called "mentions" of other publications or websites is totally nuts
and uncalled for. All readers of America's News Revised who actually would read the terms and conditions are total idiots
and don't even deserve to read anymore. Thats right, we're watching. Terms and Conditions are stupid. I mean what does that
even mean? Terms? Like a dictionary? Could use one reading one of these things. And Conditions? I mean really. Could they
have picked more vague terms? Jeez. And you, you should be ashamed of yourself. Have you really nothing better to do? You
knwo what happens with too much time on your hands? When you start reading terms and conditions?
You end up doing things like writing weekly newsletters covering news that everyone already knows in a barely funny format
that you e-mail to about 50 people most of whom you don't even know. You go the cheap way and grab a free website from some
site that helps losers publish blogs and you crack down and memorize html code. You don't want to go down that path, I mean
really.
Thats my job. Now go get a life.
A Special Thanks to the People We Steal Ideas From:
!!NEWS!! takes notes from things. Sometimes we make stuff up, and sometimes we just take notes on stuff. A special thanks
to Jon Stewart, of "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart". Another one to Stephen Colbert of "The Colbert Report" (pronounce his
name or "Report" with a T and die). Also, to [former!] President Bush (this is probably the only thing he ever will be thanked
for) for being an idiot and making massive mistakes in his governing, so we can make fun of them. Also to CNN, C-SPAN, and
NBC networks for employing reporters who make the strangest comments, and CNN.com, where, even on a slow news day, you can
find reports on anything (we mean anything). Hope no one notices we borrowed your material!
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